Play The Douchebag Life, a free online game on Kongregate

Cancel 0 The last time I stayed out until sunrise was part accident and part design. I had to work in four hours, and if I were to go home and try to sleep off the last of the vodka giggles, I would have ignored my alarm and woken up in a heap of Subway sandwich wrapping paper at four in the afternoon Like a true champ read: I drank five venti coffees that day. The barista and I are now dating. I was weeping miserably for my bed the entire time I was at work. Nor am I telling you this because I actually think I was cool for playing out the subsequent bar-to-work commute as it might appear in a badly scripted Lifetime movie. Honestly, staying out so late at all and forgoing sleep entirely was a really stupid thing to do.

10 Things Women Are Tired Of Hearing

Boys, southern women are raised a particular way. They are raised to not be aggressive, not be overly needy and they are taught that their men should fight for them. In the current day AND age this means commitment in the moment.

SSS and sunning across OC.

People playing by the rules and not being taken care of. I was a nice guy for a long time. Until I was about 22 actually. They were just being nice. Consequently, I never once got the girl I wanted. Since that time, all of those things have changed almost And that was deliberate. You see, I realized that nice guys have a set of highly undesirable personality traits even as husbands. And these nice guy traits are the same ones that people who get screwed by life have.

Even if pissed, sad, upset, or anxious.

Douchebags traits of each astrological sign

I have sometimes been known to cancel dates at the last minute. Guys never question this excuse. Well, karma finally caught up with me as it always does , and last week a guy canceled a date with me at the last minute by blaming his friends.

Brent’s not totally retarded, though.

He hits the wall. He may even hit his wife. I hear her crying all the time. I notified the apartment managers the week they moved in, and they told me to call the cops. On Saturday, I did. I got tired of the screaming and my walls shaking. You see, he has a traumatic brain injury. I simply put my headphones back in and eventually he went away. I drafted a letter to the apartment managers. I also indicated that he had knocked on my door and demanded we talk after the cops had left on Saturday.

I got a text from one of the managers Wednesday night that they were setting up a meeting with him Thursday morning. Fifteen minutes later, The Leprechaun knocked on my door again and demanded that I open the door and talk to him. Eventually The Leprechaun went away again, but I had to text the manager and tell him what happened, and he told me to call the cops if The Leprechaun came back.

Live. Learn. Love.

Read on for true encounters so shocking, you might feel compelled to take a shower…in bleach. Choosing to run, hide, deny and ignore instead of communicate respectfully and effectively is cowardly at best and often douchey. Shirtless photo-in-the-mirror profile pics? Oompa-loompa orange tan with frosted lips, fake nails and tramp stamp?

The only time this wouldn’t apply is if he’s a businessman, using the same phone for work and play.

Indeed, here I was, the only Western correspondent in the Soviet Union, and as the deaths mounted, my disillusionment mushroomed. Lady Fate had once again beamed upon my literary gifts and me. The years advanced, and I often returned to Mother Russia, both on vacation and for work. My skepticism about Khrushchev turned into a hatred for Breshnev. I attended every SALT summit. When Chernobyl blew, I was there to provide narrative perspective. From my unique perch, I watched the Soviet Union fall, and then I drove around Eastern Europe and watched everything else fall as well.

ts dating Klamath Falls, OR,

When not traveling across the world doing ads for Quiksilver or Billabong, she’s posing for BL! SSS and sunning across OC. Unless you’re in the action sports industry yourself, your relationship is doomed to end when she finds a skier or surfer better-looking than you—and you KNOW she will. The Rockabilly Queen At–where else? Nowadays, she spends her days primping her locks—sometimes Bettie Page, sometimes Veronica Lake—while counting down the days to the next Hootenanny.

The very idea of planning out even a simple night together, that is not going to exacerbate financial issues, and that will put her in the mood for what we once had, feels insurmountable to me.

Keep a Dream Journal As soon as you wake up from a dream, write down every little thing you can remember about it. Supposedly by writing it down, your brain recognizes certain patterns that only occur in a dream since most dreams are immediately forgotten and if they are on paper, you can recall them easily. Think about exactly what you want to dream right before you fall asleep. For instance you’ve probably fallen asleep watching MythBusters before and immediately dreamed you were flying through the air, using a giant version of Jamie’s mustache as a hang glider.

Continue Reading Below Advertisement 3. The best time to have a lucid dream is either right before you regularly wake up, or right after. Studies have shown that more people have lucid dreams when they take a nap shortly after they first wake up in the morning. So you can do all that, or if you are the lazy type, get yourself something like the NovaDreamer , a device that detects when you’ve entered REM sleep and then makes a noise that’s supposed to be not quite enough to wake you up, but enough to raise your awareness to, “Hey, this is totally a dream I’m having!

Obviously the big difference between a dream and real life is that if the Hamburglar came bursting out of your refrigerator right now and started screaming at you in Vietnamese, your first thought would be “This is a strange and unusual event that is occurring right now, and I should question my perceptions. Yes, Mel Gibson is dressed like Colonel Sanders. No, this is not a dream. Continue Reading Below Advertisement In a dream state, your mind mostly loses the ability to criticize anything that’s happening because dreaming just doesn’t involve the critical part of your brain.

You’re all worried that you’re at work in your underwear, and don’t even blink at the fact that your boss is a dragon who speaks in the voice of your old middle school gym coach.

The Top 10 Perks Of Dating A Celebrity

The Top Ten 1 Chad I had a roommate named chad. This is the type of guy that starts fights with smaller guys to make himself look more macho. In every sense of the word, Chad was a huge douche You guys are very mean!

Click here to be taken to a random hacked game.

July 22, “What happened to the nice guys? Unfortunately, rarely are these women prepared to hear the answer to the long pondered question they present. I find the overwhelming urge now to answer and finally clarify what happened to the nice guys. You happened to the nice guys. See, while you were consistently attracted to said assholes, the nice guys were right there next to you. He was the funny guy that was just a friend, the awkward nerd that would treat you not only well but the way you deserved to be treated, or even just the ex you thought was “too domestic” because he wanted to spend time with you, even if it was sitting around doing absolutely nothing.

But no, you ignored and rejected these guys.